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In response to last month's post, "Five Moments When Saying No Is Your Best Strategy," many readers asked for more detail on how to say no, especially in high-stakes situations. What do you do when a client demands services that are not in the contract? How do you respond when your boss orders you to do something questionable? What are your options when a public official offers to "move things along" if you help him or her out?
To learn more about effective strategies, I reached out to three colleagues who specialize in situations like these: Mariano Mosquera, director of the "Transparency Observatory" at Catholic University of Córdoba, Argentina, who teaches classes for business professionals trying to resist corruption; Joshua Weiss, senior fellow at the Harvard Negotiation Project; and Richard Bistrong, chief executive officer at Front-Line Anti-Bribery LLC and a former FBI cooperator who served 14 and a half months in federal prison for violating foreign bribery laws.
All three warned against making hasty assumptions when strategizing. Although saying no can bring significant risks - to your relationships, your career, and sometimes even your safety - saying yes in fraught situations can be just as risky. "Reputational risks are growing so fast," Mosquera says, describing how the prospect of being identified in social media can damage individuals and companies. "The legal risk is no longer the most important risk." Even accommodating a client can backfire. "If things crash and burn," Weiss says, "the client can end up costing you more than you earn - and your reputation will be damaged." And, as a junior employee in the LIBOR scandal just learned, going along with your boss's directions is no protection against going to jail. Still have doubts? Read Richard Bistrong's post, "I'm sentenced to prison. Now what?" To avoid these damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't scenarios, the key is strengthen your hand before you get into the situation. Here are six strategies these experts recommend:
• Anticipate the pressure. "The most important thing is to anticipate the corrupt situation," Mosquera says. Countries, companies, and clients vary. Learn the integrity practices of your setting. Then, use standardized methods - such as having transactions reviewed by others or never going to a meeting alone - to discourage inappropriate offers and requests. Even as a small company or an individual, you can develop a policy that explains your position on transparency, ethics, or values. Ask yourself: Why do I want to say no? Then, incorporate that into how you frame key conversations. For example, in meetings in which clients might ask about confidential sources, one consultant I know opens by saying, "This report reflects very candid input, which we were able to obtain due to our commitment to confidentiality."
• Strengthen your hand. "People tend to pressure those who seem to be weaker, who can't do anything about it," Weiss says. Increase your leverage by actively cultivating options - what negotiators call your best alternative to a negotiated agreement. What other deals are in your pipeline? Who else needs the value you have to offer? What other clients might be more profitable? Stopping to do a strategic analysis takes discipline, but it gives you confidence and staying power. Weiss notes that one executive, when faced with pressure from a government official, responded, "We may have to take the slower route on this project."
• Redirect the conversation. Saying no can easily come across as an attack, a challenge, or an insult. Instead, approach it more like the Japanese self-defense practice of aikido: Simply decline with courtesy and respect, then refocus the conversation on ways to move forward. For example, one vendor I know said to a client, "I'm not sure that strategy will get you to your goals. What if we tried xyz instead?" If the situation feels unsafe, Bistrong suggests a diplomatic, noncommittal response. Mosquera's students even advise spilling your drink to get out of a dangerous situation.
• Maintain your exits. "The closer you get to a finish line, the easier it is to get hooked into 'escalating commitment' and compromise," Bistrong says. "You may tell yourself, 'It's the end of the quarter, I've turned in my forecast - how can I let things fall apart now?'" But this is precisely the time that it is most important to take a step back and think about your options. "If you are struggling, call home. Listen to the voices of your loved ones," he says. "If you make the wrong decision, those are the voices you could lose."
• Call for reinforcements. Ask for help. Call your boss, call compliance, call a friend. Weiss suggests enrolling someone who is highly respected to help you deliver a difficult message. Bistrong recommends a candid sit-down with your leader about what is likely to happen and how you should deal with it. He also says that mid-level leaders need to be crystal-clear about where they stand. "Tell your direct reports, 'Even if it is the day before the end of quarter, it doesn't matter. You need to speak up, get the problem off your shoulders, and get it to the people on your team.'" Companies that aren't so clear are likely to get into trouble.
• Underscore your no. Finally, expect and prepare for some pushback. "The person hearing your no will likely react in predictable stages, what we call the 'curve of acceptance,' Weiss says. Don't react to his or her reactions. Instead, maintain your no with respect. Avoid any sign of antagonism or judgment, and leave the door open for a return when everyone is ready to solve the problem. Regardless of the strategy you pursue, there will be some costs to saying no. But forewarned is forearmed. With practice, you can minimize the backlash and keep the things that are truly important. A financial analyst I interviewed once had a boss who routinely pressured him to work weekends. "Don't you have a wife and kids?" the analyst asked. "Wouldn't you rather we got our work done by Friday, so both of us could have the weekend?" The two of them worked out a plan. If done with respect, your no may actually bring out the other person's best.
Elizabeth Doty is a former lab fellow of Harvard University's Edmond J. Safra Center for Ethics and founder of Leadership Momentum, a consultancy that focuses on the practical challenges of keeping organizational commitments.
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By regularly "checking-in" with employees, leaders create emotionally sound companies able to help drive organisational change.
Rabobank, the Dutch multinational financial services company, came from humble but proud beginnings as a cooperative of small agricultural banks providing finance to Dutch farmers. So, when the push for fast growth through derivatives and secondary market trading left it mired in the LIBOR interest rate-rigging scandal, the consequences shook the organisation to its foundations. Morale plummeted, stakeholders were anxious and employees ashamed of their workplace. Many questioned where the bank's values now lay and how, or even if, the organisation could redeem itself in the eyes of its stakeholders.
With the workplace stressed and unable to move forward, a cultural programme was introduced to revitalise its internal culture by turning around morale and changing the way the organisation went about its business. Recognising that company culture stems from collective behaviour, the bank set out to change "group thought" by getting closer to individuals, assisting them to take a closer look at their own values, drivers and behaviour.
Through a series of two-day modules, interspersed with fieldwork, the cultural transformation programme encouraged employees at all levels to take a closer look at their actions; the way they interacted with their colleagues and subordinates; and the implications this had for the shape of the organisation. In between the modules, participants returned to the workplace and integrated what they had learnt into practice, supported by mentors chosen for their integrity rather than seniority within the company.
Central to this programme, and key to encouraging a change in the way people interacted, was the introduction of the check-in, a process by which team members took time at the start of meetings to enquire about each other's mental, physical and emotional health.
Checking in is a concept well developed in airline and education industries, but still quite novel in the corporate world, and requires leaders to open team meetings by getting members to ask each other three questions:
To better understand the effects this procedure had on employee emotions and decision making, co-author (and then, chief HR officer at Rabobank) Gerlinde Silvis conducted 14 case studies and surveyed 767 bank employees - research which formed the basis for her paper, Emotional boarding using the 'Check-In'. Although a positive result was expected, the extent to which the three questions changed both the culture of the bank and the way it operated were vastly underestimated.
A "red thread" linking the entire organisation
Silvis found that the process of checking in created a communal focus amongst employees and a willingness to cooperate. More people were open to exposing the difficulties they were facing, both personally and in the workplace; they felt able to show their vulnerability and to seek and offer help.
"Doing a check-in gives energy," the chairman from one of Rabobank's head office departments noted in his responses to the survey. "It is a process you start and you learn as you go, delving deeper to gain a better understanding of how people operate."
Some respondents stated that sharing emotions and identifying a common goal led to a reduction in competition and brought out a readiness to help each other, instead of trying to address and push through only their own discussion points. Tensions and uncertainties were brought out into the open and discussed.
Another said, "Asking questions deepens the way you interact, it creates trust. The check-in creates a space to share emotions."
People cultivated empathy; they learnt to see each other from a different perspective and interacted accordingly. It also created a mutual understanding for individual positions and questions. The check-in was described by one respondent as a "red thread" which stretched across the organisation connecting people, creating a starting point for discussion.
Interestingly, about 60 percent of those surveyed found that as well as creating closer emotional binds, checking in before a meeting created a moment of reflection which helped individuals to become 'fully present' and allowed the group as a whole to close the issue of the previous meeting and focus on the topic at hand. In short, it helped them to 'land' and to be more aware of the 'here and now'.
Customising the check-in
Managers used the check-in in different ways. Some checked-in once a week – first thing Monday morning – others would check-in at the start of every meeting, up to three times a day. While most used the questions as originally stated, others changed the language to suit the team. "You shouldn't get lost in the process, it should be effective," one leader noted. Overall, leaders recognised that to be effective they had to set the right example and have the courage to display their own vulnerability.
Of those interviewed, 63 percent regarded the check-in as a valuable tool while 34 percent considered it of limited value.
A bank transformed
It is fair to say that the check-in led to a new management style within Rabobank, one not based solely on rationality, but founded on a degree of emotion. The quality of discussions within meetings improved and leaders were encouraged to listen more, creating a more balanced decision-making process.
The bank's cultural transformation programme had extraordinary results. In less than 18 months, it had connected with 45,000 staff. There was a visible change not just within teams but across the organisation. Morale was noticeably more positive as the frontline people in the company were given a voice, they felt listened to and felt that their values were more in touch with the organisation.
A new corporate culture had developed by asking three simple questions.
Loic Sadoulet is Affliate Professor of Economics at INSEAD.
Gerlinde Silvis was Rabobank's former Chief Human Resources Officer, now consulting in topics around leadership and organisational change.