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It has been many years since I went to a high performance workshop that a close friend and colleague of mine was delivering to some leaders at a Fortune 500 company. I was so looking forward to the opportunity because it meant that for one of those few times I could sit, listen, observe and enjoy without being in the front of the room. All of my happy energy turned toward the dark side, though, when my friend followed his “hello” comments with something like this…I don't normally do workshops the way I'm going to do this one today; I have a preferred approach and I can't use it today because…the rest of what he said did not matter, I thought. He had just discounted himself and what he was going to spend the morning doing. He had lowered the audience expectations. Do you think that I'm overreacting? Were they going to be as involved in the learning? I don't think so.
When we were kids and were choosing teams for a game didn't you pick the kids you thought were the best at the game you were going to play? At work don't you want to have on your permanent or temporary team the people who can execute the skill sets that you need for the task(s)?
Of course, you would. No one wants to hear that you might be a weak link, especially on occasions when the task has already been performed and you were being complimented. It's even worse when leaders start discounting and devaluing in front of each other, direct reports, vendors, regulators, etc. I would find it hard to work for someone who thinks that success increases through discounting.
So, what can be done about this? We certainly don't want to work with people who speak about discounting their actions? It's just not good to devalue yourself to others. When someone compliments you, just say what a famous American once said, “thank you very much”.
Despite your best efforts an occasional discounting may occur. My response has normally been to respond to a discounting episode with a positive statement to counterbalance the discounted statement. I do not make a big deal about it. I don't want to embarrass anyone. One counterbalancing statement is enough. I do make it an issue though a personal and private one, when a colleague continues to discount herself. It is not good for the organization's culture and individual success.
Of course, if I am aware or become aware that the person really has a performance deficit in a certain arena I prevent discounting from occurring by not allowing a scenario to develop that would be discomforting I give a different assignment. Perhaps a very wise move here would be to recommend a good book or some training so that a weakness becomes a strength, something to cheer about. I would do the same for myself, reading or training to eliminate any potential for devaluing or discounting.
THREE GUIDELINES TO LIVE AND WORK BY: