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Change is a personal choice and all of us have the freedom to bring about positive changes in our lives. However, we do not always realize that we have this "freedom to choose and change", as we are often strongly socialized to simply keep going through our lives based on past conditioning. Consequently, as adults we become satisfied with "what is" rather than moving toward “what can be”. As such, we all could use a “check up from the neck up” every now and then.
As working adults, we are not always using our natural child-like creativity and dreams to achieve our goals. We simply go on living life based on status quo. As children, 95% of 5-year olds are creative but as adults we give up this ability since only around 5% of 44 year olds are considered creative. Once there was a creative little 5-year old girl drawing and her Dad asked her what are you making? She said I am drawing God. He said but nobody has seen God. She replied, "They will after I get done with the drawing." She was not going to allow outside barriers to get in the way of what she was going to create. This is the confidence we need as working adults to move toward our goals.
While speaking at an international conference, I met a 29 year-old man named Wahid working in Kabul of Afghanistan serving tea and taking care of guests at a guesthouse. He said, "Dr. Bahaudin, you are so lucky to have this opportunity to read and write books, and to travel around the world giving speeches." He also mentioned he would love to read and write poetry. Yes, I am lucky, I said, and why aren’t you reading and writing poetry if you want to do it? He said he did not go to school and did not learn how to read. I asked, why aren’t you learning how to read and write now? He said he is too old now and it would be very difficult. Of course, anything worthwhile is likely to require some work and may appear difficult at first. If bringing about changes were easy, then everyone would have everything they ever wanted or desired. However, just because something appears extremely time-consuming and difficult does not mean it is, and it certainly does not mean that it cannot be done. The poorest human being is not the one who has no money, but rather the poorest person in this world is the one who has given up and has no dreams.
At the young age of 29, Wahid considers himself too old and has given up the motivation to learn and become functionally literature. Despite the current difficulties, he prefers the uncomfortable status quo versus the unknown heavens that reside just beyond the perceived hillside. He believes that life will be easier if he simply accepts the status quo for himself, yet wants his children to study and go to school. He hopes that life will be different for his children and grandchildren. He did not realize that he too can choose to be lucky and make his 30th and 31st years of life a little better by bringing about the needed changes one task and one improvement at a time. I told him that in the evenings and weekends I used to work as a dishwasher when I was in high school and college. I worked, went to school, and eventually got more opportunities and choices to do what I enjoy. However, I am still learning and changing in order to continue doing more of what I enjoy doing in the future. Wahid can change and increase his luck in life by learning to read, by reading poetry, and eventually writing poetry. I told him that by moving towards what you want to be, you serve as a role model for your children. If you do not have the motivation or energy to learn and improve your life, why would your children do anything different? Parents should try to become what they want their children to aspire toward and know that they have what it takes to succeed.
If you want to change your life, then you must want it badly enough. If you truly want something, first find out exactly what it is that you want and then decide on the one or two changes needed in your life right now in order to satisfy your desire. Start now as tomorrow may not give you the opportunity. Live what is within your desires and capabilities! If you want a big strategic or goal-oriented change in your life then you should do it immediately and flamboyantly; an example of this would be when one has found the love of his life and wants to marry her. When he is certain about marrying her, then most people do it by planning and organizing for the engagement and/or wedding ceremonies, and then they immediately make a public commitment in a flamboyant manner. As part of the process, these grooms would lead the journey by taking personal responsibility and controlling the circumstances to make sure there is a successful and enjoyable event for his upcoming bride, friends and family members.
Change is not easy but the strategic and desirable rewards will come if one is persistent in planning and exerting sufficient effort toward a desirable outcome. The Chinese Bamboo tree takes four years of hard work and it grows only a few inches. However, in its fifth year, it grows nearly 90 feet tall within about six weeks' time. Be patient, but as you wait, engage in consistent and goal-driven actions based on your dreams. Good things usually come to those whose actions are strategically goal-oriented and remain patient; but it comes faster to those who hustle while they wait.
To change your life toward the achievement of your strategic goals, you need to plan for what you want by clearly thinking through all of your important values and goals while clarifying your immediate objective. The first principle of successful change management is deciding to make a change and having powerful reasons for doing so. Then organize all the relevant resources needed to accomplish this change. If needed, get help from friends, colleagues and professionals in the community and other experts. Once you have properly planned and organized the right resources, then you can lead by initiating the change and immediately taking the first step toward your objective. At the meantime, stay ready to control the entire process by making the needed adjustments in every situation and event to make sure you reach your destination.
As part of the controlling function of managing behavioral change, you can always try substitution by replacing an undesirable habit with a better activity that makes a productive use of your time. Furthermore, you can use visualization and imagineering to see yourself successfully doing the desired activities for your life. Finally, hold tight and be persistent in holding on to the change or in doing the new activity for about thirty consecutive days in order for it to become a habit or part of your routine. As usual, review your goals and objectives at the end of each week and every month, and assess how successfully you have achieved it or how well you are progressing toward them. Remain patient, reflective and, at the meantime, try to hustle at each opportunity. Learn from the experience and make the needed adjustments to make sure you are successfully moving toward the destination.
Bahaudin G. Mujtaba, D.B.A., is Professor of Management at Nova Southeastern University and author of "Managerial Skills and Practices for Global Leadership" book (ILEAD Academy, 2014). Bahaudin can be reached at: mujtaba@nova.edu